Jumping In

No way to start this blogging thing like jumping in feet first. Welcome to my blog about life, love, and the emotional trials of pregnancy loss and secondary infertility. I have started this blog because I have no time or money to get to a therapist, so I thought maybe my venting could be put to use elsewhere. It may do no one else any good, but I hope someone can find consolation, wisdom, or a good old-fashioned belly laugh from something I write...

Today is Cycle Day #4 of what I hope will finally be our first IUI cycle. Two shots with the Follistim pen down, two more to go... oh, then the trigger shot, then the suppositories, daily early morning drives (all before work!) to the Center for bloodwork, and more bloodwork, and more bloodwork, and an occasional ultrasound (internal, of course; nothing like that to wake you up, huh, ladies?!?). Did I mention NO drinking of alcohol, caffeine, soda, no dying of hair, no eating of soft cheeses, cold cuts, peanuts or tree nuts, or most seafood? All in search of a rising HcG and a healthy pregnancy and an OB/GYN practice that can actually handle dealing with the care and concerns of an “older gravida” (because I’ll be 40 in December) who’s had multiple losses for the forty weeks of nail-biting 24/7 worry. It is worth it? In my opinion, in a word: YES!

All this while dealing with DH, who’s looking like I just stole his soul or something; he’d have been perfectly happy stopping after we lost Jimmy, and when the topic comes up, often acts much like a bull being led into the ring by the nose. I also have to continue the day-to-day mom thing with the lights of my life, the 10-year-old and 6-year-old sons that we do have living safely under our roof, both of whom were conceived, carried, and delivered the old-fashioned way, who allowed the shield of innocence regarding fertility to remain over my eyes for all that time. God, do I miss those days!